The strength of Megan never ceases to amaze me. The girl is probably the most hardworking, ethical, dedicated person that I know. She has never been given a super easy path and that has not stopped her one bit. I can honestly say she handled all the twists and turns, disappointments and achievements better than her parents this year. As we struggled with emotions and what to say and how to explain adult behavior and decisions....she basically employed the "Cry for 5 minutes rule". You know... cry for 5 minutes and then pull your self up, set your goals, and get out there and tackle them head on. As she sat in the hotel room in March, all I could do was hug her and wipe her tears. She then proceeded to spend the next 14 weeks supporting her team mates in whatever capacity she knew how. She sat back week after week watching someone play her spot just so they could get a nonsensical award. She did her reps knowing that her role was to hit the ball. She cheered knowing that even after 6 years of travel ball she was not respected the same as the others. On the outside, she was also trying to prove her worth to her OTHER coach. Always the first to sit. Always the first to cheer. She would leave days of play with tears in her eyes because she felt inferior. He would say that she was his starting first baseman just a month before...now she was his starting benchwarmer. Enough was enough... stop the insanity. One day the team would be stronger than the coach. One day her peers would recognize her strength more than the adults that surround her. And one day, she would not let them down. Thrust into the starting first base position just in time for the playoffs. No chemistry built over the season. No trust developed between the others. the only thing that could be counted on was that this was the structure that would help get to the big show. Well she stepped right in. Did what had to be done and helped get the team to the finals. Megan has had the emotional fortitde these past weeks that not many teenagers would. People have doubted her, but she plugged on. trusting that at some point, someone would see her. Someone did! Now she shines! She proved to everyone that she is the "go to kid". She is the one that people can count on. She

Divine Intervention

It was June 11, 2006. We were on our very first family vacation ever. North Carolina was a place I had always wanted to see… the beaches, the hot air balloons, the sand dunes. We were up and at it early on that morning heading to the hot air balloon festival when Dutch got the call. I knew by the sound of his voice that something was really wrong. I heard that voice twice before. That voice brought chills to my skin ever since the first time I heard it in May 1997 when his dad passed. Sadly, I was correct. Again, that voice meant devastation. Moose passed away while watching and coaching the sport he loved that beautiful summer morning. His attention to the Center Township baseball fields was remarkable. He loved the sport. He loved the field. He loved the community. Let’s fast forward to the Summer of 2014. 8 years since that terrible morning when the community lost a great servant. The boys (and girls) that were playing on the field that dreadful day and that attended their beloved coaches viewing all dressed in uniform are now 19 years old. They now stand on the first base line as the community pays respect to Moose, his family, and friends with the dedication of Moose Hepler Field. His wife, brothers, mother, children, nieces and nephews stood with tears running down their cheeks listening to the announcer describe to a whole new generation of ball players what this special guy did for the field that they now play on. He explained the love that Moose had for his family and for baseball. The announcer talked about how every coach scribes their initials or name into the balls they keep in their buckets so that no one else takes them. A “moose” ball has not been seen in years. It was this summer that a “moose” ball arose from the woods. It was a miracle that it still existed, was not water-logged, and still had his name written in black sharpie. This was fate. Moose’s 19 year old son that was playing ball 8 years ago, now had the opportunity to pass that experience on to a team of bright eyed, eager 10 year olds as they stood on the third base line. The symbolism of a divine connection was clear. The triad of the father, son and holy spirit was personified now as the family, the 19 year olds and 10 year olds stood watching Mike throw that “moose” ball to the catcher for the first pitch of the game these young boys will now play on the field dedicated to Moose Hepler. Moose Hepler field! Moose – Hepler – Field. It was glorious this summer morning as the dedication sign was unveiled. One week later. Josh Hepler, 10 year old. Nephew of Moose Hepler. Josh was only 2 years old in 2006 so he does not have a lot of memories of his Uncle Moose, but he knows he loved him. He knows that Moose loved the sport of baseball and knows how special it was that he got to play on Moose Hepler field for this Center Township Tournament. Josh showed all his team mates the sign that proudly displayed his uncle’s name. Josh watched as his dad took pictures of the sign and had a “moment” the night before as the Warriors played under the lights. Josh saw me talking to the other baseball mom’s explaining how this “Moose Hepler” is related to us. It was now the second day of the tournament and the Warriors got to play on Moose Hepler field yet again. I was Josh’s first time at bat for the day. He looked at me and gave me a wink and I giggled and rolled my eyes. First pitch…. The ball brushed his pant leg. Second pitch… it was a hit. It soared above the in-fielders. It soared above the out-fielders. It rose above the fence marked 183 feet. It was a HOME RUN! Josh’s first tournament, over the fence home run. It was an amazing moment. It was at that moment that you could almost feel a warm embrace. Moose’s mother was there to see it happen. Again, it was an extraordinary event. Tears came to my eye knowing how proud Moose would have been. I quickly picked up my phone to text Moose’s wife to tell her of this beautiful event. Her response was absolutely priceless. “Angels in the outfield”. It is moments like this that it reaffirms my faith that there is divine intervention and things happen the way they are supposed to happen.

Random Acts of Kindness - Toastmaster Speech # 10

Some people think the world is becoming LESS friendly. Is this true? Some people think that there is no sense of community. Do you know your neighbors? Random Acts of kindness. We have all heard of this. We have watched the movie Pay It Forward. Statistics show that people are actually becoming friendlier. They are helping friends and strangers alike. They are just doing it differently than they did years ago.


• The Bureau of Labor Statistics determined that 64 million people volunteered in 2011. That was more than a million more than in 2010.

• Women volunteer at a higher rate than men in all age groups, educational levels and all other demographic differences.

Kindness is contagious according to a study done at the University of California. But we don’t need a study to know this. We have all seen the effects of a kind act on another person. We have felt the kindness of others. We have all felt the rippling effects of kindness.

Plato wrote and inspiring thought about kindness. I feel its depth is timeless:

“Because you reap what you sow. If you are sowing kindness, you will reap kindness. Give love, love will return to you. Share joy and joy will abound in your life”

As I mentioned in a previous speech I wanted to celebrate my 40th birthday in a very special, memorable way. I decided to complete 40 random acts of kindness for my 40th birthday. Then I decided to take it a little bit further and challenge my friends and family to do 1 random act in my honor. This was life changing for me. I achieved my goal of 40 random acts and I counted 32 random acts by others all for my birthday. A total of 72 random acts were passed on to 72 different people. I can only imagine the ripple effect of that.

My favorite acts that I completed was the coffee gift cards. I stood in line at Cairo’s and knew in my head what I wanted to do. I was nervous. My heart beat fast as I wondered who the recipient would be. As I waited I started hearing the ladies behind me talking. They were upset and complaining about their jobs. Their week was going to be so busy. Their boss was not very understanding of their workload. I kept quiet and just listened secretively. As I reached Bruce’s counter he gave me my usual cup for my usual coffee. I bought it and also bought 2 $5 gift cards. As I was shaking and nervous, I turned around and told the 2 ladies that I bought them each a gift card. I explained it was my birthday and that I was doing random acts. They were ecstatic. Their moods immediately shifted and they became friendly, happy, motivated and excited. It was thrilling!

Albert Schweitzer stated: “Do something wonderful, people may imitate it”.

I mentioned how I was nervous. There were several acts that I completed that made me nervous. It made me reflect upon our society and what has become of it. WHY was I NERVOUS to do something nice? Have we stepped so far outside ourselves that it is no longer acceptable to be kind?

When I drafted my birthday email requesting help in completing these random acts I sent it to everyone. I worried that I would make people uncomfortable or look like I had an ulterior motive. I received an email from my program manager. Uh oh. His random act made me smile. He completed his random act within 2 hours of receiving my email. He woke up that morning with a full agenda as he and his family were to prepare to leave for vacation. Having all coffee drinkers in the house he went to make a pot to get the family moving. He opened the fridge and to his despair… NO CREAM!!! He got himself dressed, left the house quietly and ran to McDonalds and Dunkin Donuts. He got everyone’s favorite sandwich and then a box of Joe with creamers and sugar. When he got home, he was greeted with cheers and happiness. He told them all that it was to celebrate Ann Marie’s birthday. Not knowing WHO Ann Marie was… they all looked at him funny. So he told them my wish. They all volunteered to participate and that added 3 more random acts to my list!

The stories were so infections. The people that participated were surprising. My far away friends Kathy Rehorst and Cheryl Sexton did a kind act to others. My wish reached other sides of the country! My son did 1 kind act a day for 1 whole week – by his own choice. My co-worker Carol performed a kind act without even knowing it. She gave me one of my most cherished compliments ever.

Random Acts are free! You don’t need to spend money to make someone happy. Hold the door. Smile. Offer a chair. After my little project was done, I was standing in line at the pharmacy at Giant Eagle. I had a million thoughts running through my mind. A sweet, gentle, old man came up to me. He put his hand on my arm and said “Don’t forget to smile, this life is better than any alternative” and he walked away. I NEEDED that on that day! If we only took that 1 moment. That 1 second to make someone else’s life an ounce better imagine how rich our life would be?

Most of us that work here have the privilege of living in a small town. Some are smaller than others…but regardless, our communities in Western PA are intimate. Small towns have a way of breeding hospitality and character. We can take our small town charm and infest it into the culture of bigger communities and cities. This time of year, you see football rivalry. Let’s keep the competitive spirit…but engage in kindness as well. Our community is hosting a Fight/Cheer for the cure. 2 rivaling schools are coming together at their next football matchup to raise money for breast cancer research. The 2 teams are working together to advertise and campaign for something greater than themselves. The competition will happen on the field…but the compassion and teamwork will happen off it.

I vow to make my life richer by helping others. I want to inspire you to do the same. I teach my children that making someone else happy is a key to making yourself happy. True random acts are genuine, sincere, thoughtful and considerate. They are acts we do without seeking anything in return. Enhance your senses and you will see far more positive things happening around you. If all of us just did 1 random act a week. Think of others first. The result would be astounding. I challenge you to do what I did. Celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, or milestones with a Random Act of Kindness project. It is a way to pass on your blessings to others. Not everyone is a fortunate as we are. I do complain, I do get frustrated, but I choose to emphasize the good in the world. I challenge you to do the same. We can all make a difference 1 act at a time. I will leave you with a quote by Mahatma Gandhi. “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Thankful Gratitude

The messages we receive from the media, the politicians and the economists are all so bleak and miserable. The stuff that our children hear and see with todays so called role models is worrysome. Many of us are affected by these miserable sentiments. We start to get hung up on the things we hear and see and forget about all the things in our life we have to be thankful for. I am taking an extra effort to live with an attitude of gratitude. Practicing gratitude is a workout of our soul. People that have a strong sense of gratitude or thankful ness do not necessarily have more than others… they simply recognize and see more beauty in their lives. If you condition yourself to look on the bright side of life, life will miraculously get brighter. I am making gratitude a daily practice of mine.


• I am thankful for my husband and my 2 beautiful children

• I am thankful my mother is healthy and able to help me

• I am thankful my sister is my best friend

• I am thankful that I am healthy

• I am thankful I have a job that pays well and is secure

• I am thankful for good hair days.

• I am thankful for my favorite tv shows because they are a diversion

• I am thankful for toastmasters to show me how to become a better speaker

Will you join me? I would like you to all state one thing that you are thankful for.

Feeling Gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. Give your gifts every day.

The Road Trip

The Roadtrip




Recently I took my kids on a 7 hour road trip back to my home town in NY. It made me realize how different this excursion was compared to the roadtrips my family took when I was a kid. I got each of my kids buckled in their seats, handed them their electronic devices, snacks and ear-buds and no one spoke for about 3 hours until a rest stop was needed. It was a very relaxing trip. Everyone arrived at our destination calm, refreshed and ready for our adventures.

This was different than the road trip I took in 1977. My parents had just bought a brand new car. Boy was it a beauty. It was an 8 passenger Pontiac LeMans Station wagon. Wowwie. She was two toned with light cream and that ever popular woodgrain. I remember taking the test drive with them. They let me sit in the back back for the road test. The seat in the wagon portion actually faced BACKWARDS. It was like I was on space mountain! Shortly after my parents took ownership of the family hotrod we had plans to go to Philadelphia. All of us. My mother, father, sister, my 2 grandmothers, my grandmothers beagle and myself. It would be a true test of strength for the new family truckster. Back then there were no electronics and no earbuds. There was mydads 1950’s rock and roll cassette tapes or whatever channel my dad chose on am/fm radio. My sister can still sing every 50’s song that we hear word for word!!

On family trips, my dad was ALWAYS the driver. I think I saw my mom drive with my dad in the car 3 times in my entire life. He liked to drive and use his CB radio. His handle was BIG MAC (our name was McIntyre). We all had CB handles… back then it was open mic night all the time. You could talk to the truckers and to other families. You could complain about the road conditions or warn each other of upcoming traffic… or you could just talk about nothing and pretend to have your own version of cannon ball run. My mom’s handle was Aquarius. Wasn’t that cool? My sister was a teenager and her handle was Magic Girl. Awesome. But I was 6. My handle was NOT very cool. My dad told me to pick something that I liked most. So Breaker, Breaker, Mint Chocoloate Chip Ice Cream hit the airwaves!! Oh, I wish I was kidding.

The seating configuration for our road trip was interesting. See my 2 grandmothers did not get along….at all…..ever. Grandma McIntyre was old, and never really walked well. She had various illnesses and was a very bitter, mean woman. She was extremely conservative and did not like conversation. We know she loves us because she had to, but she REALLY loved her beagle Cindy-Sue. Grandma Fiducia was the opposite. A very sweet, gentle grandma. She spoke very little English having been off the boat from Sicily years prior. She prayed a lot and LOVED her grandchildren more than life itself. We had to keep them separated because without fail Grandma Fiducia would do or say something to make Grandma McIntyre upset. SO. Grandma M. sat in the front passenger seat. Because I was the smallest and youngest the coveted middle seat position in the back was usually mine. I usually had to either sit with my feet up on the hump or straddle it for the duration of the trip. But with a packed car, My mom, my sister, and Grandma Fiducia sat in the back seat this time. Then came the question… What do we do with Ann Marie? I could either sit between my dad and the mean grandma in the front OR I could sit in the back, back. Unfortunately though, the back, back seat could not be up because of all the luggage. If I chose the back back, I would have to sit freely on the platform where all the luggage was stowed… with the beagle. It was fun back there. With no seatbelt laws, I just flaled and whipped around with every bump in the road. On extra-large potholes, I even hit my head on the ceiling. So we set out on our trip. My dad made sure that our windows were all sealed up tight because he didn’t want the air conditioning to escape… that made the smoke from his cigarettes stay tightly in the car. Ahhhh the smell of second hand smoke. There were no GPS systems, so my mom had to use a paper map sprawled out over the entire back seat area. The Map was always a conversation that leads to fighting. My dad didn’t believe my mom knew how to read a map; my mom would get frustrated with my dad’s questions. It was a joyous time.

Back then children did not need to be constantly entertained. I had no toys for the trip, no games, no electronics. All I could do for fun was pull at my sister’s hair from behind her, ask “are we there yet” about 1 million times and when that didn’t work pretend that I had to go to the bathroom, just so we could stop for a few minutes. After 7 hours of travel we successfully managed to keep the grandmas from fighting, the sisters from killing each other, the parents from getting lost and all of us somehow escape lung cancer from 2nd hand smoke. We arrived!!!!! But before we could head out for a fun time on vacation, we needed a nap to recuperate.

The Honeymoon is over - Project 6 TM

I wanted to take this time today to tell you all about my honeymoon. You probably think I am going to tell you how I went on this beautiful vacation, with whispering winds and palm trees, clear blue oceans, the white hot sands and the romance…oooh the romance. NO. This was not my honeymoon. Have you ever heard people say the Honeymoon is over…well mine was almost over before it even started!


We went on a delayed honeymoon 3 months after we got married. This was because my husband was taking college courses at the time and we had to wait for a break. We flew down to Miami and the airplane ride alone was an adventure. There we were on this turbulent flight and WHY…WHY do the put 2 large people in front of each other? Dutch was sitting with his arms tight against him the whole time. His knees we up by his throat. He was very uncomfortable. We get to the cruise ship and we wait…and wait…and wait to get on. When we finally make it to “our room” it was gorgeous. It had a balcony, a stocked bar, a king bed. It was beautiful. They put our suitcase in front of the rooms and this was our room…. But it wasn’t. They made a mistake. They put our suitcases in front of the wrong room. OUR room was really down the hall. It was a tiny inside cabin. No window. It had a fake curtain hiding the inside brick wall. The bathroom was barely big enough for my husband to fit in. He LITERALLY had to keep the door open to sit down so he had room for his knees. Well there we were. All of a sudden he tells me he wants to go home. IS HE KIDDING ME? HE WANTS TO GO HOME? This Honeymoon is going to be over, before it even starts!! Well, even though we were newly married, I already knew how to work him. I said, ok, let me see what I can do. I left the room…. Walked around the boat by myself. I listened to the emergency exit training and went back to the room. I told him that I spoke with the captain and crew and that it would cost us more to leave the ship now then to just stay on and enjoy the 4 days. By this time, he had enough time to cool down and he no longer wanted to leave. He just needed time to adjust. We decided to go deep sea fishing as one of our excursions. The ship docked and we got off in Cancun. We see some locals on the side of the road with a sign for DEEP SEA FISHING. GREAT! We gave these locals $250 cash. They barely spoke English. They told us to follow them and we did. We followed them into a car with another local that did not speak English. They take off driving down back alleys and dirt paths. They are talking back and forth in Spanish. Dutch and I are looking at each other in fear. I don’t care how big Dutch is… he was not going to save us from death by dismemberment. All of a sudden we drive out of the darkness in this beautiful, calm, somber ocean bay. There were yachts docked everywhere. They led us to this boat with a 2 man crew. Jorge and Pedro…15 years later I still remember their names. They had a cooler full of Corona’s and all the stuff we needed to fish! I caught the first fish. It was so hard to reel in. It pulled and pulled. I remember Dutch screaming KEEP THE ROD TIP UP. REEL HARDER, REEL HARDER. I finally said “I’m DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN!!” I threw in a couple choice words that I won’t repeat now. It was a 4 foot mahi, mahi! It was awesome! Dutch was next. He got a fish on. He reeled and reeled. I gave him a sarcastic “GET THAT FISH IN… Reel HARDER”. He quietly apologized stating that it sure was harder than it looked. It was a blast!

We made it through our honeymoon and consider it to be a learning experience. When our plane touched back down in Pittsburgh, he turned to me and said.. DON’T EVER make me fly again. It was one time of our lives that we always look back to and laugh. We had some challenging and scary moments and the Honeymoon was ALMOST over before it even got started!

Everything is a Battle

Megan started the 2011-12 school year very well. Lots of good friends in her class, personal goals for her classes, and a great attitude. This was our first START of a school year with her diagnosis of dyslexia. We had all the tools in place. We had a plan for after school so emotions do not get the best of us. All of our preparation can be shot down in the matter of one day.


Yesterday, Megan was upset coming in the house after school. The first upsetting incidences of the year happened and unfortunately happened on the same day.

First of all, she failed a reading test… I was ok with this. I wanted to take a look at the test and see what the issue was. She was adamant that she knew the material, but somehow she got every question wrong in an entire section. The closer I looked, I saw that she made a simple mistake that we have all made. She put the wrong answer in the wrong place all the way through the section. She put the answer to # 4 in the # 5 spot. She put the answer to # 5 in the # 6 spot…and so on. I knew this because the teacher made her re-do that section and she got them all right. I am not clear on my feelings as to whether they should change her grade or not, but I think it should be considered. On one hand, I realize she needs to learn a lesson and be more careful, but on another hand, dyslexia is a visual processing disorder.

I wish that was the only thing she was upset about, but it was not. The other incident was more serious to me. The children received their PSSA (standardized tests) scores yesterday. They received them and then they were asked to go to an assembly about the tests. They were told how good the school did and how important it is for them to do their best on these tests. THEN they met with the children individually to talk about their specific scores. The kids had to open their scores in front of the other kids in the assembly and then they had to discuss them with the principal. Having been recently diagnosed with this learning disability, I find this to be extremely unethical. Her perception was that despite the fact that she improved from Basic to Proficient in Reading and Math, the principal told her she needed to improve her writing. She needs to get to the Basic level. He told her it was important to the school. Hmmm ok. Important to the school. What is important to Megan? It is important that Megan not be humiliated. Would they walk up to a child in a wheelchair or on crutches and ask them to run faster? I don’t think so. Why is it ok for them to ask a dyslexic child to write better? Dyslexia is a visual processing disorder. It is NOT seeing things backwards. It is defined by the difficulties that dyslexics have of putting what is in their head, down on paper. It was clear that the principals treated everyone the same. Kids are not the same. There are hard workers and lazy workers. There are kids with parents that care, and kids with parents that don’t care. There are kids that can work harder, and there are kids that no matter how hard they work they cannot make “it” happen. I am ashamed that educational professionals do not know this.

After I did damage control, I hope that Megan realizes that this is something we are working on. She should be so proud that she sets goals for herself. It may take her longer to achieve them, but she WILL achieve them just the same.

New Beginnings

This is my first speech that I gave today at my Toastmaster meeting:
My name is Ann Marie Hepler. I am going to talk to you today about how my life is comprised of a series of New Beginnings. The first new beginning was on August 2, 1972. I was born in the Bronx NY to Maria and Philip McIntyre. My given name was Ann Marie McIntyre and I was so lucky to already have a big 5 year old sister, Maureen. From what I hear, Maureen prayed for me to be born. I spent the first few years of my life living in the Bronx. “The City” as we called it, was always our “home”. My mom and dad were born and raised there and so it influenced a lot of my life despite the fact that we moved to Cornwall NY when I was just a toddler. Cornwall was a new beginning for my family. It was a Norman Rockwell town, with a Main Street, American flags, the Hudson River just outside our doors, and the best fourth of July Fireworks anyone could imagine. For several years we spent the weekdays in Cornwall and the weekends traveling the hour drive to the Bronx to see our friends, my grandmothers and get our “fix” of city living. Our travels were always so much fun with me and my sister singing every single ‘50’s song that came on my dad’s radio station. We loved WCBS radio and Wolfman Jack!! My parents were both only children. So I don’t have stories of loud aunts, crazy uncles or annoying cousins. I only had my 2 grandmothers, my mom, my dad and my sister. A family reunion at my house was just about the same as every day dinner. Pretty quiet. Soon enough we were in Cornwall full time. My sister and I were having sleep overs and walking (ok getting a ride from mom) to and from school with our friends. We lived right in town. We could walk to everything.


I was always shy until you got to know me. I loved to be around my mom and dad. My family friends insisted that I would never move out of the house. They said my parents would never get rid of me. Well, on a chilly, rainy day in August of 1992 I surprised them all when my mom, dad and Maureen dropped me off at Slippery Rock University. A “new beginning” that was 7 hours away from home. I knew nobody. I remember the day. After we moved all my stuff into the dorm and after a quick lunch at what is now the Red Rock Falls Restaurant in Slippery Rock, I said a quick goodbye, gave a quick hug and kiss, and did not look back at the car on the walk up the hill to Founders Hall. Tears were streaming down my face.

My dad thought for sure I would be back home for good by labor day.

I worked part time with the Physical Therapist Assistant license I got back in NY from Community College and went to school full time at SRU. In 1994 I graduated with my Bachelors and decided to pursue my Masters. I was offered a full time job in the Mars, PA area and decided to give it one year. After one year, I would assess the situation and move back to New York to be with my family.

My dad thought that no doubt I would be home in a year.

After one year I was getting ready to revisit my decision to move back to New York when one night I went out with some friends. I was tired, I was the designated driver, I had to work in the morning and I wanted to go home. My friends convinced me to make one last stop. They had to see if some guy was at the local bar. I agreed to stop… but only for 5 minutes. There we were in this dark, dingy, local bar. I was cranky, tired and cold. Three guys walked in after us, all hooting and hollering and having fun. I couldn’t help but be sucked into their fun. Dutch, the tall, broad, funny looking one immediately started talking to me and asked for my number. I was going through a major rutt in my dating life…. My track record was men that were too old, men that were married, or men that couldn’t speak much English. So I was pretty skeptical at this point. After some coercion, I agreed that he could call me…. here we had another new beginning. I made the decision that I would give this relationship 1 year. If things were not more serious in a year, I was going back to New York.

My dad was CERTAIN that I would be home…..

Dutch and I had a blast together. He loved to manage benefit concerts and events. I enjoyed helping him. He was so outgoing and fun. Everyone knew him and everyone respected him. He was a hard worker but he was just so fun to be around. A year later he and I were living together and were talking about getting married. We visited New York a couple times, but the more I visited New York, the more I realized what Pennsylvania was doing to me. It was becoming a part of me too. On my birthday weekend in 1996, Dutch knelt down and proposed to me under fireworks. (it was at the Boyers festival….if you can believe that forshadowing!!!). Our wedding was in October of 1997. What a new beginning.

I think my dad believed I would STILL come home someday.

Our wedding was so much fun. The first few years, we continued to live the leisure life. We worked hard, but we played hard too. I was working as a Physical Therapist Assistant. We had fun on the weekends. We traveled and camped and spent a lot of time with each other. We made decisions for ourselves and had no one else to consider. I visited New York several times a year to visit my family. I always had to get my share of NY Pizza, NY Bagels, and NY canolis. Soon enough we decided it was time to grow our family. Megan Corrin was born in May of 2000. She was a precious little 6lb 6oz little girl. She was our new beginning. What a bundle of joy. She was perfect.

I think my dad wanted to believe that I would come home to NY to raise Megan.

I knew I wanted to have a sister or brother for Megan. I knew I wanted my children to know that when everyone and everything in the world is against you… one person has your back… your sibling. So in 2004, we decided to have a second child. Joshua David was born in June of 2004. He was trouble from the very start. Entering the world as an Emergency, he has given me every single one of my white hairs. We love showing our children the blessings of NY and PA. They experience the best of both. Megan will not eat any other hot dog than a NY Sabretts and Josh has an amazing NY accent impression for a 7 year old. I found it was very important to show Megan and Josh how I grew up and how Dutch grew up. My kids have been to “the city” many times already and especially love it in the winter time.

Unfortunately in February 2007 after a long illness, my dad stopped hoping and wishing that I would move back to NY.

Becoming a mom was probably the most defining NEW BEGINNING in my life. From that point, I started making decisions not only for myself, but for my family. It was as if everything that that happened in my life was on purpose to make me who I am. Today I am married to Dutch for 13 years. Megan is 11 and Josh is 7. My mom moved to PA to be next to her grandkids. I have had jobs in private industry that ranged from a Physical Therapist Assistant, to a rehabilitation director, to a workers compensation agent and finally have been working for OPM for 9 years . I travel 11 minutes to get to work. I am adaptable and ready for change because there is nothing more fun than a new beginning.

First Day of School 2011 - Tears.... NAHHHHH

So all the build up is over.  Mom and Dad's money is all spent on shiny new pencil boxes, pink rubber erasers, and folders with duckies and kittes on them.  The outfits have been set out, the arm pits have been washed and the "bed time" has regained its popularity.  It was the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!  Josh and Megan jumped slowly drug themselves out of bed, ready for the day.  I made them a delicious breakfast sandwich with fresh rolls, scrammbled egg and ham.  Slathered with just a little mayonaise.  I made this because they asked for it.  Both of them asked for it.  Megan ate hers.  Josh, in his usual difficult-ness... didn't like his.  So a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich helped fill his belly.  Next they got their clothes on and brushed their teeth.  I helped Megan fix her hair and pick out her shoes. 

It was PICTURE TIME!!!  It was blissful Stressful!!  "Josh stand still, Josh, look here, Josh don't touch her, Josh, here... Josh, here, JOSH HERE!!!" 

In normal Western PA fashion, there was quite a chill in the air.  Megan states "mom, I'm cold".  My reply "go get a coat".  Attempt 1...coat had chocolate ice cream down the front and on the arms.  Attempt 2...had a nice grease stain on the front.  Of course there are tears now and yelling about how I wash CLEAN clothes all the time, but when it comes to DIRTY clothes, they never seem to make it in the wash. Attempt 3... WORKS, its clean.  But pulling it over her head makes her hair staticky. ((UH...Really?)

"Josh don't throw rocks at the chicken". "Josh, don't throw rocks at the cat".  "Josh, Don't throw rocks across the road".  "Josh, ONLY throw rocks at the trees." 

The bus pulls up...GET ON THE BUS, GET ON THE BUS!!!!OH THANK GOD THEY GET ON THE BUS!!!!!
((BIG SIGH)).........  my 6th grader and my 1st grader are ready to go... up the steps and off they go. 

Toastmasters

I decided to join Toastmasters.  Toastmasters is a club that educates its members on how to become better speakers and better leaders.  Through a series of speeches, the members learn confidence, poise, communication skills, and creativity.  The thoughts of giving a speech in front of 25 people that I barely know is enough to give me heart palpatations and make me sweat.  My first speech is in 2 weeks and is supposed to be an IceBreaker....about me.  About my life. At first I thought, how boring.  A 5-7 minute speech about me.  There is nothing to say.  But then I started writing it.  It is still pretty boring, but I definatly have enough material to cover 7 minutes.  It was very therapeutic to write down the story of my life.  I had to stick to the main points of my life.  If I got too detailed, it would take me much longer than 7 minutes. It was enjoyable to think back on my childhood and remember some of the comfortable situations and events.  I also thought of my parents as being MY age right now.  That is something.... When I was a kid I could not see their perspective... but now looking back, I see my life from their eyes.  It was wild.  I think back at what my mom had to deal with at my age.  I am 39.  I have 2 children.  Both of them are active in sports.  I work Full Time and I help to manage Dutch's business.  When I was 11 (Megan's age), my mom was also 39.  She worked full time at night. She always helped to manage whatever Business we had at the time at home.  Her mother was 79. Her mother in law was in her 70's as well and very ill. My sister and I were active, but not in too many after school activity, but we required a lot of attention.  My sister would have been 16.  A new driver.  A teen that had trouble in school.  She required extra attention.  My mom had to manage the house pretty much on her own as well.  My dad would run the dishwasher, but other than that, not a whole lot of help.  But all in all our life was great.  I do not have bad memories.  As I wrote my speech for toastmasters I wrote about all things that were happy.  When it is time for me to stand up and give this speech I will be proud of the person I am not for even trying to improve myself, but I will be proud of the person I am because of the guidance I was given from my parents.  There is no way to express that in a speech.  I am who I am because of the parents that raised me.

time goes by

Every time I get interested in the Blog again, I have really good intentions.  Then I write a little and have a hard time keeping up.  This past year has been a whirl wind.  I know I wrote about Megan trying out for the Silver Creek Starz last year.  She subsequently made the team and it was a wonderful year.  She learned so much and has come so far in one year of training.  Most of all she grew emotionally and socially.  Megan has a rough time in our community.  She does not have a lot of friends.  She talks to a lot of people, but doesn't have a lot of FRIENDS.  This is very hard for me to understand because she is such a kind hearted child.  She always looks out for the "little guy". The group of girls that she became friends with through Starz see Megan for who she truly is.  No preconceived notions of who she is, or who they think she should be.  She is free to be herself.  For a mom of a pre-teen this is a dream come true.  We decided to stay with Starz again this year for a multitude of reasons.  The training she gets is top notch, the softball experience is great, but the friends are priceless.  Megan will be starting school in 1 week.  As she moves into this school year, I believe she will have greater self esteem to deal with the daily grind.We are very lucky that Megan is such a hard worker.  She will not be defeated and this too is a trait that a preteen needs to possess. We are so proud of her.
Joshua has had a stellar year too.  He completed kindergarten with very good grades.  He is a social bug.  He loves to be the center of attention and often his personality allows him to achieve that.  Baseball was his sport of choice over the summer and this year, his team won the championship.  His team was amazing.  The children that played on his team all come from wonderful families and we had such a blast supporting these boys and girls.  The boy that never threw a ball before this season, became the "clean up hitter" by the end of the season.  This fall he is playing football.  This is a sport that I thought for sure would  be "too much work" for him.  I thought he would hate it.  I was wrong.  He loves it.  He works really hard and can't wait to have his first game this weekend.  Josh is so independent.  He has a hard time doing things any other way than his OWN way.  That's ok.  We hope that he uses this determination as he grows up to fight the temptations that will come before him.  We are so proud of him too.
Dutch and I work hard to be good parents.  We spend all of our time with our kids and truly enjoy being with them.  We do things as a family and the biggest challenge this summer came when we had to separate to attend the kids events.  I call it "divide and conquer".  Those were the hardest days of our summer. The proudest moment came just last weekend.  Dutch was playing in a benefit softball tournament to raise money for a local scholarship fund.  Normally, It would be just Dutch playing.  But this year, he asked Megan to play on his team and later in the day, even invited Josh to play.  He was the only dad who allowed and WANTED his children to play on the team with him.  It was the first game that they all played on the same team.  I was so proud!

First Day Jitters....whose jitters?

I know it is is every parents dream to raise self confident, self reliant, independent, responsible children.  But when it actually happens before your eyes it is sometimes hard to watch.  It is kind of like riding a  rollercoaster trying to cover your eyes but watch all at the same time. Josh and Megan started the 2010 - 2011 school year yesterday.  Joshua started kindergarten and Megan is going into 5th grade! They were pumped.  They both had a great night sleep.  How could that be?  I could NEVER sleep the night before the first day of school.  I still can't.  I woke up yesterday with bags the size of the grand canyon under each eye.  They woke chipper and ready for the day. Megan helped fix Josh breakfast and get dressed because her role as big sister just got a little bit more "important".  Josh has had his outfit picked out for over a month now and was dying to wear his new shoes.  Both grandmas were slated to come comfort me watch the kids get on the school bus.  The kids, Dutch and I made our way outside about 10 minutes early to greet the grandmas and take the needed pictures.  I started to cry inside but managed to stop before we went out.  Well, I cried again when we got out there...and again when the bus came...and again when the bus left...and again when we talked about it.  Megan was such a proud big sister.  She offered to take Josh to introduce him to all her friends ont he bus, take him to his class room and do all the nice sisterly things.  She was the protector. The bus finally peaked the hill and was on its way down to our house.  Even Lucy was anxious to see the kids off to school.  When the bus door opened, Josh and Lucy made his way up the steps only turning around to smile for the camera. He had a grin from ear to ear.  Megan followed in her caring way.  As tears poured down my face I saw him through the tinted bus windows... still smiling.  He was ready.  Both of them are so confident in what they do.  They are so independent and smart.  Although they fight, when it matters most they come together as a powerful team.  It seems the only one nervous, tired, crying, worried and scared was.... ME!! 

Analytics and other things

So this weekend was a bit of a self discovery for me.  I had some experiences that allowed me to see within myself and perhaps see what other people see... but perhaps what I KNOW about myself that I will not change.  I am analytical.  There is no denying it.  I have analyzed "situations" my whole life.  The reason I do not like roller coasters is because I analyze them.  The reason I get stressed about money is because I analyze the account.  The reason I have to be on time is because I analyze the appointment.  Bottom line.  I analyze things.  Lucky for me, I found a job that PAYS me to do that.  Here's the thing.  When my kids are trying something new.  I analyze that too.  I want to have all the facts in line, all the variables set to my understanding, and all of the results thought through.  That is who I am and what I do.  So, when Megan decided to try out for the Starz Softball team, I needed to know all of our options.  Megan and Dutch focused on the performance issues, I focused on the rest of it.

Based on all of my analysis, we agreed on many things... we agreed that she would try out for more than one organization just to get a feel for the right fit.  We decided she would try out for Pitcher to show case all her talents.  We decided it wasn't necessary to spread out her try out times to stragically place her in a more "memorable" spot.  We decided that financially it would be a stretch, but with the fundraising opportunities, we could do it. We decided that Megan needed a BIG hug before try outs to remind her no matter what, we love her and as long as she tried her best, she should be proud.  There were 2 questions that remained unanswered through my analysis.  1.  Who would we pair up with to car pool to practices.  Would there be any one to share that burden from our community? 2.  Where would we stay during the over night excursions?  Would there be pressure to all stay at one location at a place we could not afford?  Standing and talking to the other parents at tryouts I was forced to realize that these 2 "concerns" were ridiculous to be thinking about.  really??? The "mother" that I chatted with literally laughed at my 2 concerns.  How could I even think about things like that?  How could Dutch LIVE with someone like ME?  Dutch very briskly came to my aide and advised that without people like ME, people like HIM would be lost.  That I keep his life grounded and my thorough analysis helps keep us afloat in times of trouble.  That was the first time in my life anyone ever told me that I would be miserable to live with.  It was an eye opener, but in my opinion, I would much rather live with someone LIKE ME than to live with a mother LIKE her that doesn't hug their child before a scary try out.  Someone that doesn't see the good of an organziation like the Starz?  Someone that complains about each facet of the try out... someone whose daughter is starved for attention. 

The analyst in me sees my life as Pretty- OK.  I analyzed her life and see many statistical findings that she is a miserable person with no hope for recovery. 

Super mom

Between yesterday and today I think I clocked enough miles on my odometer to equal a trip to Texas and back.  Holy cow the logistics of running a house hold.  Kids and I had dentist appointments yesterday.  I had to leave work early to get there.  From there it was a hair color touch up for me then home to my mom's.  I had made dinner the night before so that my mom only had to stick it in the oven for me.  We ate in lighting speed and off to cheer practice and parent meeting.  Finally at 8:10 we were on our way back home.  WHEW.  Today is not much better.  I have to leave early again to get Josh to the eye doctor.  Dutch had the day off so he got the pleasure of getting them BACK to the dentist for cavity fillings.  In the process, Megan has determined she has an ear ache that is not going away.... she called the scheduling coordinator, mom, to make her an appointment.  Um... not gonna fit in the day unless Dad takes her there and I take Josh to eye doctor.  Hard to believe that all that can fit in a day!!

OMG the drama...

Last night was very dramatic.  Having a daughter that is EXACTLY like myself and a son that is EXACTLY like his dad is very frustrating sometimes.  Megan has had a very busy week.  It is Cheer Camp week.  It is HOT.  She and her fellow rah-rah girls cheer for 6 hours a day.  They are hard core, in your face, high flying, cheer junkies.  After cheer this has been a good week for the pool.  So we rush off to pick up Joshua and head to the pool for 2 hours.  After 2 hours in the sun, running, swimming and playing, we head home for a QUICK dinner and then she is off with Dutch to practice softball for her upcoming Silver Creek Starz tryouts.  She spends about 2 hours lobbing balls to her dad and brother.  Well Megan walks in at 9:30 last night in TEARS.  She doesn't know what she is crying about.  She is dirty, sobbing and exhuasted.  This is where she is JUST LIKE ME.  When I am tired, I am a sobbing MESS.  I cry at NOTHING.  I cry at EVERYTHING.  So, I put her dirtly little butt to bed and tried to lay down with her a little while.  We kept getting silly interuptions.  Joshua came in.  He wanted to know if he could have a bowl of cereal.... UM you dad is out in the kitchen.  Ask him.  (off he went).  The dog came in.  Lucy wanted to know what kind of cuddling was going on without her.  Kissed Megan a few times and then heard the cereal box in the kitchen so off she went. Joshua came in again.  This time he wanted me to check to see if he had 2 testicals instead of one... right now (seriously... there may be an issue, but that is for a different post).  Really, Josh.  Really... you want me to check for that right now... while I am cuddling with Megan?  So off he went... back to the living room. That was the part that explained how Josh is JUST LIKE DUTCH.  He likes to eat, he has very little focus and likes this WOO WOO looked at.    Back to cudding next interruption, the cat.  In comes our cat, Brandi.  We can never find her.  She lives her life around us.  But at this moment she wants to be seen and heard.  She purrs and flops herself down between Megans feet.  This is when I had just about enough.  I gave Megan a hug and a kiss... told her I love her and went to bed in my own room.

Acheivements

Yesterday was a big day in our world.  Josh is officially swimming.  No swimmies needed.  Megan conquered her fear of that big bad water slide too.  She had an incident there years ago and hasn't been back on it since.  Yesterday she went on and LOVED IT.  My kids are acheivers.  The sad part in them acheiving is that it means they are growing up.  But ultimately that is what a mom wants.  She wants her kids to grow up and be able to do what it takes to survive. Acheivements come easy to some and not so easy to other people...Megan has to work hard for each and every acheviement.  She needs to spend time practicing, honing her skills, working hard, thinking hard etc.  She EARNS evey step of the way.  I was just like her.  I am so proud of her for all the work she does at stuff.  Joshua.  He is different.  He is one of those kids that touches something and is good at it. He makes everything look easy.  When he was a tiny little 4 year old, he put on his baseball uniform and hit doubles.  He decided the training wheels on his bike were "dragging him down" so they came off early.  He gets a set of roller blades for his 6th birthday.  The minute he puts them on he skates like a champ.  It is just the way he is.  It is sickening.  Unfortunately, I can see the writing on the wall.  He is this boy that has all this talent.  He will NOT put time into it.  He will NOT spend time practicing.  He will take advantage of his talent and not reach his full potential.  However they do it.... my kids acheive things.  I am so blessed to have them. 

Doing Nothing

I had a wonderful weekend.  My dear husband who is in a cat fish fishing tournament and who is a cat fish champion, changed his plans for me this weekend.  What a good guy.  He usually goes fishing on Saturday nights.  But because my BFF from high school came to visit on Saturday, I asked if he would change his plans and fish on Friday instead.  He did.... JUST FOR ME.  Saturday was a fabulous day.  With the help of my mom and Dutch, I pulled off a very good picnic.  Food was great, company was better.  Joanne and her family got here about 4:00 and by 4:05 the kids hit it off and were on the trampoline.  Joanne looks great and hasn't aged a bit.  Makes me feel old though.  I know I didn't age as well as she did.  DANG IT... That is the problem with being the chubby friend... LOL.  Aw well, I know we are still better looking than many of the others we went to school with.  Joanne and I reminisced and had a few laughs.  We even managed to squeeze in a boat ride.  Unfortunately, the threatening clouds wouldn't hold off and we managed to get off the lake in just enough time to get ice cream before the rain began.  YUMMO. It was such a nice visit and only made me miss my friend JO all the more.  I wish we lived closer.  But what I really wanted to talk about is how I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING on Sunday.  NOTHING... Nada... Nill.  Joanne and company left around 10:00 and by 10:15 I was asleep on the couch.  I managed to wake up around 11:30 only to go to the bathroom and do a load of laundry.  I folded 2 loads, put them away and then stummbled my way back to the couch.  Laying there I literally had to remind myself that it was OK to be lazy once in a while.  It is very hard to do nothing.  I got dressed and brushed my teeth around 1:00.  and made it back to the recliner where I watched movies, played on facebook, checked my email, and paid bills on the web.  What did I ever do without internet access on my phone???  THANK GOD I can do all that while NOT MOVING.  At 2:30 the family unit became hungry... Oh God... I have to move.  I pulled out the paper plates, heated up left overs in the microwave and noticed I became angry that I was the last one still standing.  Everyone else in the family was back in their reclined positions, but I was catering to their needs like I was a mom or something....oh yea.  About 4:00 Dutch decided it was time for him to move around and got the kids together to go play some ball.  At this point, the guilt really was pressing hard on my brain.  I didn't think I could let the whole day go to "waste" so I managed to sit and watch the sleazy MTV show Jersey Shore while cleaning out Megan's drawers.  After that I just HAD to sit back down.  That 20 minutes of activity was just too much work.  So I made a quick spaghetti and meat sauce and got myself a plate.  I ate it on the recliner... of course.  I was home by myself, had the remote to myself, had dinner, a drink and my recliner the only thing better would be if there was a chic flix on t.v.  Guess what... there was!!!  Soon enough the kids and husband were home, everyone needed me, one needed directions printed, one needed dinner heated, one spilled their spaghetti on the floor, one forgot their sneakers at grandmas and needed them tomorrow, one needed a shower, one needed some water, one was feeling bad about themselves and needed a hug and a kiss, one needed help with their p.j.s and to be encouraged to start a bed time for school, one needed another kiss and another hug. It was true.  Lazy days and Sundays go together.  But having my life back to normal was just as good.  
 

Some People...

2010 is a landmark year for me.  I seem to be stepping up, stepping out and standing up for myself.  I am so tired of people taking advantage of me and my family that I am now becoming assertive and standing my ground. I don't understand why some people feel the need to step all over others just to get an advantage.  It seems that it is the new way to behave.  What ever happened to FAIRNESS?  Doesn't any one else have any integrity and pride?  When it comes to leading children, it seems that some organizations can be so corrupt.  That is not what I want to teach my child and am shocked that so many people are ok with this.  I am trying to teach my kids that hard work, dedication and confidence is what it takes to succeed.  I try to teach them that even if they have "connections" in a situation, success is not guaranteed.  Unfortunately, it seems that everyone is fighting my theories.  Parents are becoming coaches and advisors just to give their kids a "heads up".  What is this all about?  Are they so threatened that they may not succeed that they need to hold another child down?  Shameful!! I feel like it is my fight against society.  Let's give kids all an equal footing.  Let's teach them to be TEAM players that all work together.  Let's teach them to be truely happy for other peoples success and not jealous of others accomplishments.  Let's teach them that it is ok to fail sometimes... and that is honorable to win too.  I know this sounds all so ideal... but if we all put ourselves in someone elses shoes for one moment, we would be better people. 

A dream come true

This past week the family took a trip to Canada. Our dear friend Carpy got married. There are some many things about this trip that I want to write about, but today I am going to choose the dance. The dance that started for me about 15 years ago.
15 years ago, it was a hot summer day. Dutch and I were volunteering at an outdoor benefit concert. Our favorite blues band was on stage and we were sitting comfortably in our lawn chairs. Still single, the last thing we usually thought about was "kids" and "family". We sat enjoying the music when we were both mesmerized by the young family in front of us. Dad sat holding the hands of a young toddler. He toddled her around, spun her and gently led her to dance. Mom was more energetic. She and the young school age child danced WILDLY. Ran around each other, arm in arm and legs high steppin it. The music led them and bound them that day. We were mesmerized by the family's spirit. Their happiness to be together. For that moment their cares, their bills, their worries were swept away. They were happy being together. I was jealous. Dutch was jealous. We wanted to dance with them. We wanted to be them.
Fast forward 15 years... I still remember that family. I don't know who they were or what their names are, but I remember what they were wearing that day. I remember what color hair they had and I rememeber what song they were dancing to.

July 17, 2010 that family became the Hepler's. We participated in the beautiful ceremony of the wedding and then the reception began. There were no dancers on the dance floor...except us. The tunes were perfect. The lighting was dimmed. I danced joyously with Joshua. He swung me and hip bumped me and held me in his STRONG 6 year old arms. He had a smile that shined across the room. Next to us was Dutch and Megan. Dutch's big strong burley arms wrapped up our 10 year old blonde beauty. He pulled her close and danced a tango interspersed with a wild dip or pull. Her smile as she looked at her dad was priceless. It was a cross between "your crazy" and "I love you". For a moment I forgot life. I was watching from above. I was "outside of myself" inspired by the family that I saw. I looked out to the other wedding guests and caught glimpses of peoples faces as we danced on that floor all by ourselves. I saw older folks looking and smiling. I saw young children laughing ... it must have been a sight. But I saw something else. I saw that family from 15 years ago... I saw MY Family..... and I saw my new friends Speedo and Brianna (my new SINGLE friends) watching us.

My personal challenge

So I have been reading a lot of blogs lately and find them very interesting and funny! I am setting a goal to blog for one month. I may not blog every single day, but I will try to get at least 5 in a week. There are enough funny, interesting, frustrating things in my life that I can certainly come up with a couple paragraphs about. but today is the day... goals are good. goals keep you thinkin, they keep you moving forward. hope you're willing to listen to my rants over the next month and I will see if this helps me sort my thoughts, share my feelings and put memories down on paper.