Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Mean Girls

I know how wrong it is to interfere. I know it is important that kids learn to settle their own arguments, fight for their own reputation. I struggle sitting back and watching as girls beat each other up through words and attitude. I am about to make a statement that will really age me....but..... Kids today are just plain mean. Especially girls. I sat this weekend and watched as Megan had her spirit broken time after time. She had a girlfriend over. This was our first time and I think it will be a while before I try again. Megan was told to shut up... called retarded....told she looked like a dork because she laughed too much and.... was described as "over the edge" with friendship. This was all in the first few hours. and it was "a friend". It really acted as a spring board for a conversation about friendship, personal strength, self confidence and patience. At 8 years old and in a rural community like ours your only "friends" are the ones in your class. Each year you get a new set of "friends" when you are assigned to a new teacher. My only hope is that this year is a lesson year. Hopefully next year will be better. I don't understand why girls today are so mean. Have we come SO far as a gender that we now find it necessary to beat each other down to get ahead? Or is it that us mothers are seeing our own weaknesses in our daughters and over compensate by teaching them arrogance and ignorance? It is heart breaking to see my little girls spirit be crushed. She seems to understand that this is incorrect behavior and I can only hope and pray that she does not treat each others the way she has been treated....but rather follows the "golden rule" that is perhaps ancient and out dated to some...but to me is the most valuable lesson in life.... Treat Others as you Wish to be Treated.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Grandma, can you hear me?

Ok, I know it is wrong to make fun. I especially know it is wrong to make fun of your mother... but, something hilarious happened the other day. My mom has a hard time hearing. For some people this is annoying. People do not like to repeat themselves. I don't mind. I generally have a higher level of patience with these kinds of things. Megan must take after me. The other day, we were in the van listening to Megan read. She was reading us a Pet Fairies book. She is doing really well with her reading and my mom and I told her so. She was very appreciative of our compliments and began talking about her favorite subjects in school.
Megan said: Do you want to know what my favorite subjects are in school, Grandma?
My mom: Sure...
Megan: my favorite subjects are Grammar, English, and Writing.
My mom: Aw... Thank you!
Megan: Grandma... Did you hear me?
My mom: Yes... Your favorite subject is GRANDMA.
Megan: No Grandma, my favorite subject is Grammar... not Grandma, But... If you were a subject, you would be my favorite....

Thursday, May 15, 2008

My Eight Year Old

I remember the day she was born. 6 lbs, 6 oz, 21 inches and the pinkest skin I ever saw. Her hair was curly brown, her skin just hung on her like an old lady's extra tricep flab. Her size 0 clothes were all too big... her dad had to go buy Preemie clothes. She was precious. I remember holding her while sitting on the couch and wishing I could freeze that moment. I wanted to remember her that little. I wanted to remember her skin that soft. I wanted to remember the gassy smile she would give me. Now she is 8. 8 years old. 8 years old. 8 years old.
She is still precious. She is SO smart. She is SO beautiful. I can't believe the stuff she knows. She knows beginning fractions. BEGINNING FRACTIONS.... She knows how to take a joke. She knows how to write in cursive. She knows how to tease me. She knows how to push my buttons. She knows when to say "I love you mom". I still try to hold her on my lap. All 85 pounds of her. We squirm and fight for space... but she will ALWAYS fit. The crook of my arm and the round of my waist is built to fit her perfectly. I look at her and see me... then I see her dad...then I see MY dad... But when I really look closely, I see something different. When I really inspect her and study her... I see Megan. She is such a perfect combination of personalities. She is so well rounded. Today, I told her about one of my favorite memories. There she was at age 3. She was ready to go down to the pond or go minnow trapping. SHe was dressed in blue jeans, tiny little work boots, a gray and white camo jacket and there, hanging from her right shoulder... a pink, silk purse. That is Megan...

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Megan's communion

Megan's communion went so well last weekend. She looked absolutely beautiful in her dress
She looked beautiful and did great during the ceremony. We were so very proud of her.


Watching the races the other day, Dutch said to Joshua
"Josh, which car do you think is going to Win?"
Joshua as serious as could be answers him,
"The one in the front!"

Joshua got ready for day care the other day and put a dew rag on his head and his wrist bands.
When he walked into Connies, he said... "I'm a bad ass.... " (must have heard that from dad... )

Hearing that his grandma Hepler ran over a cat the other day....
"that is so wery wery sad!!!"

Watching the kids at the ball field swing a junk pitches time after time, Joshua screams from the benches...
"if you don't like the pitch, don't swing at it!!!!"

Mother's day

Mother's Day is the 1 day a year I get treated like a queen. For reasons I do not know or understand... Dutch really goes all out for Mother's day. He has been doing this for years... I guess since Megan was a baby. Megan was born the Tuesday AFTER Mother's day. That year, Dutch was annoyed. Annoyed that I wouldn't give him his baby for mother's day. Ever since, he makes a big deal of it and wants my mom and his mom around too. Mother's day generally starts with breakfast. Not breakfast in bed or anything, but he makes us a nice home cooked breakfast. Then, as the mom's go shop, he works around the house and prepares for the big meal. For dinner, he makes everone (the 3 mom's) whatever they want for dinner. This is literally ala carte. If his mom wants a pork chop, she gets a pork chop. If my mom wants a steak, she gets a steak. If I want chicken, I get chicken. He makes certain that we all get our favorites. Dutch also gets us all something all on his own. This year I received a really cool haning basket. It has these "flowers" that look like red cat tails hanging from it. I think he does such a great job honoring all the mothers in his life.

Friday, May 2, 2008

What did I do before kids?

There are times while I am running from my car inspection to my haircut with plans to go pick up Joshua from daycare, then Megan that I think about what I did on a typical night before kids. It is really hard to think about life before kids (LBK). I know Dutch and I used to go out often. We really liked to catch a band playing somewhere on Friday nights. I remember when sleeping in on Saturday was waking up around 11 or 12. I think we had more money then (even though we both make a lot more money now). I remember one year, even before Dutch was in the picture that I was out (mom cover your ears) "partying" (bar hopping, dancing etc.) Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights... all in a row. How could I have possibly survived that? I can't stay up past 9:00 now without snapping someone's head off. Wednesday was ladies night at Frisco's, Thursday was 25 cent drafts at the Shed, Friday was fraternity party night and Saturday was back to Frisco's. All this while I went to college fulltime (and got decent grades) and worked part time.
I always remember thinking I didn't have any time. But I can't figure out WHY I didn't have any time back then... I'm sure there will a day sometime in the future... a long, long, long, long time from now that I will forget what it was like to have small kids running around. It is nice to hear that I am not alone. I vent and share with ladies at work and I am not the only one with 4 things planned in an evening with dinner not even considered until 8:30 pm. I am not the only one that has four changes of clothes in the car for each kid (currently... 2 Baseball uniforms, 3 sweatshirts, 1 slightly warmer jacket, 2 pairs of cleats, 2 pairs of sandals, 4 different various head covers and 2 blankets). Should I ever win a surprise, spontaneous all expense paid trip somewhere the only thing I would need to buy would be clean underwear... and if I looked hard enough, I may even be able to satisfy that need.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

One of THOSE parents...

I could very easily fall into the habit of being "one of THOSE" parents. We all know the type... The parent that gets too involved in their kids problems, the parent that gets too excited at the ball game, the parent that is annoyed by other people's inadequacies. Watching Megan's first ball game of the season last night, I found myself judging the coaches decisions, whispering to Dutch about how to help, wondering why it wasn't played differently. I don't like myself when I do that. I realize that "If I could do it better... why don't I just step in and do it???" reason #1. I don't have enough time to commit to that. reason # 2. I can't deal with parents like me. I had a big pep talk with myself last night to stress the importance of the kids having fun. It is hard to deal with change. Having had GREAT coaches for 2 years and having a 17 and 0 season last year with a championship year was amazing... but it is over. Before the season, we kept telling Megan that this was going to be her break through year. I can see already that it will be. Perhaps all this is designed on "purpose" to give her confidence. She is awesome compared to the others. She was 2 for 2 last night with 1 RBI. She is a team player and a leader amongst the group. THAT is what I want in her. The little ones look up to her.... I think one of them thinks she is a superstar. But I lose all that when I see the little shortstop boy (name withheld) FORCE himself on her base. Megan plays 2nd base and this little guy can't figure out that he DOES NOT have a base. He forces his little body onto 2nd and won't move for the runner or for Megan to make her play. As I said above.. I hate myself that I want to go and yank him off her base.
He is 6 years old. He SHOULDN'T know how to play shortstop! Megan ended up getting a runner out at 2nd despite the "basehog". Way to go MEGAN!! End score was 5-2 (the other team)... but end score REALLY was that the kids had a blast and 1 little boy (and Dutch) almost cried because he was so happy to have gotten a hit. He made it to 3rd before another batter left him on the base with an out.... he didn't care... all he cared about was the hit.
I will work on my behavior. I need to appreciate the little things and realize that whether the head coach is "bad" or "good" the kids are gaining by being a part of the team and having coach Dutch there (when he can) to encourage them and cheer for them.