So this weekend was a bit of a self discovery for me. I had some experiences that allowed me to see within myself and perhaps see what other people see... but perhaps what I KNOW about myself that I will not change. I am analytical. There is no denying it. I have analyzed "situations" my whole life. The reason I do not like roller coasters is because I analyze them. The reason I get stressed about money is because I analyze the account. The reason I have to be on time is because I analyze the appointment. Bottom line. I analyze things. Lucky for me, I found a job that PAYS me to do that. Here's the thing. When my kids are trying something new. I analyze that too. I want to have all the facts in line, all the variables set to my understanding, and all of the results thought through. That is who I am and what I do. So, when Megan decided to try out for the Starz Softball team, I needed to know all of our options. Megan and Dutch focused on the performance issues, I focused on the rest of it.
Based on all of my analysis, we agreed on many things... we agreed that she would try out for more than one organization just to get a feel for the right fit. We decided she would try out for Pitcher to show case all her talents. We decided it wasn't necessary to spread out her try out times to stragically place her in a more "memorable" spot. We decided that financially it would be a stretch, but with the fundraising opportunities, we could do it. We decided that Megan needed a BIG hug before try outs to remind her no matter what, we love her and as long as she tried her best, she should be proud. There were 2 questions that remained unanswered through my analysis. 1. Who would we pair up with to car pool to practices. Would there be any one to share that burden from our community? 2. Where would we stay during the over night excursions? Would there be pressure to all stay at one location at a place we could not afford? Standing and talking to the other parents at tryouts I was forced to realize that these 2 "concerns" were ridiculous to be thinking about. really??? The "mother" that I chatted with literally laughed at my 2 concerns. How could I even think about things like that? How could Dutch LIVE with someone like ME? Dutch very briskly came to my aide and advised that without people like ME, people like HIM would be lost. That I keep his life grounded and my thorough analysis helps keep us afloat in times of trouble. That was the first time in my life anyone ever told me that I would be miserable to live with. It was an eye opener, but in my opinion, I would much rather live with someone LIKE ME than to live with a mother LIKE her that doesn't hug their child before a scary try out. Someone that doesn't see the good of an organziation like the Starz? Someone that complains about each facet of the try out... someone whose daughter is starved for attention.
The analyst in me sees my life as Pretty- OK. I analyzed her life and see many statistical findings that she is a miserable person with no hope for recovery.
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